The Pizza Analogy for Patience
It’s not easy to do, but you’ve gotta resist impulse and respect the process
Two song lyrics come to mind. And an analogy.
In “Between the Bars,” Elliott Smith refers to things that “won’t bend to your will.”
Then there’s the classic song — basically about patience and process — from Tom Petty:
The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
We — at least some of us — have a tendency to want to will things to happen. If you’re like me, you often want them to develop ahead of schedule.
A new job. A promising new relationship. A green light. The end of a global pandemic. All the things — big and small.
You can’t will anything to happen. And you probably shouldn’t try. It took me a long time to figure this out. When you let the process — the natural, even if unpredictable, order of things — play out, they often end up playing out (A) as they should and (B) in your favor. It’s even better if you’re able to remove worry and rumination from the equation.
To that end, cue the great Tom Petty again:
I’m so tired of being tired
Sure as night will follow day
Most things I worry about
Never happen anyway
The analogy.
You’re starving. You haven’t had pizza in like nine months (true story). The pizza delivery arrives. You place the box on the counter. The cardboard is hot to the touch. You open the box. Steam rises. You know the cheese is going to burn the shit out of your tongue and, even worse, the roof of your mouth! You know if you take a bite right now, you’re going to ruin — or, at the very least — diminish the quality and enjoyment of your pizza eating experience.
But you take a bite anyway. You keep eating. The burnt tongue lasts for days, impacting the flavor and feel of everything you eat during the timeframe to recovery.
With pizza, lasagna, apple pie, a Thanksgiving turkey, so many meals — it’s best to take it out of the oven (or from the hands of the delivery person) and let it sit for 10, 15, even 30 minutes. The ingredients mingle and eventually coalesce to perfection. Same goes for a bottle of wine. Even a cold beer. It can be a painful burp when you don’t let the carbonation finish its introduction.
Anyhow, I’m trying to be more patient these last few days on several fronts. It’s not easy, but I know it’s required. I have forced one too many things in my life. After concluding that my impatience contributed to them not working out — or working out, but causing unneeded stress until they did — I strive to treat everything, from budding relationships to seemingly endless stay-at-home orders, like a box of piping hot pizza.
