I think you nailed it (again).

The best people in the restaurant and bar business love taking care of other people. They don't view it as service so much. They don't have this aversion.

But a lot of equally as talented and solid individuals feel forced into the industry. Or it's just a job, which is fine. But, then, they get looked down on by their customers/patrons/guests (however you call it) and it just adds to the feeling of being less than status-wise.

I felt this all the time as a bartender. There are always going to be people who treat you like shit even though you're there to not only serve them, but try to add to their day and give them an experience.