Member-only story
I Have Zero Close Friends: Here’s Raw Honesty On The Weird Reasons Why
Should we change the way we view and do friendships?
According to a recent New York Times article, men are in a friendship recession:
- In a 2021 survey, 15% of men said they have no close friends at all.
- From the same survey, but not in the article, 53% of Americans — men and women — say the first person they go to when they have a personal problem is their spouse or partner.
These two points perfectly describe me.
The article frames this as a problem, citing the statistic that less than half of men are satisfied with the number of friends they have.
Coincidentally, I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately.
I’ve gone through most of my life without close friends. Since high school, I have not had a best friend — male or female. Up until now.
This month, my girlfriend and I will celebrate our two-year anniversary. There’s no doubt, she’s my best friend.
Isn’t this the goal?
To find the person you love unconditionally. The person you never tire of being around. The person you find sexy, hot, cute, and attractive all of the time. Even when they’re not feeling so good about themselves. Your lifelong companion. The person you’ll grow old with. Or, more annoyingly, straight from every dating app profile — your ride or die. Your partner in crime.
When you find this person, how on Earth can they not be your best friend?
I wouldn’t have it any other way. When you find this type of love and friendship, you have zero desire and no reason to be in a bar at two in the morning — or even eight at night — without this person. If you do, check yourself. There might be a problem.
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t feel enormously fortunate — if not lucky — for having found this person.
I’ve been in love before, but — till now — I’ve never had a best friend like this.
In Los Angeles, at least, everyone’s searching for their someone.